As a parent or caregiver, you want to protect your child from harm and help them build strong, healthy relationships. One of the most powerful ways to do this is by teaching them about consent from an early age.

While many think of consent as a conversation reserved for teenagers, especially when discussing sex, the truth is that the foundations of consent begin in early childhood. Teaching kids about bodily autonomy (everyone’s right to make decisions about their own body), respect, and boundaries from a young age helps prevent sexual abuse and supports healthy communication throughout life.

Why Teaching Consent Matters

Sexual violence against youth is far too common. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. And in many cases, it’s committed by someone the child knows and trusts.

These statistics underscore the importance of giving children the vocabulary and confidence to express their boundaries. When children understand consent, they are more likely to recognize inappropriate behavior, say no when something feels wrong, and tell a trusted adult if they feel unsafe.

Thankfully, teaching consent can be a simple, natural part of everyday parenting. It can start with simple lessons during bath time, playtime, or family time.

Teaching Consent at Different Ages

Consent education is not a one-time talk—it’s a topic you should return to throughout childhood and teen years. Here’s how to talk about it at every stage:

Teaching Consent to Toddlers

Ages 1–4: Building Vocabulary and Body Awareness

Toddlers are ready to learn the basics of consent. You can start as early as age 1. 

• Use correct names for body parts (like vulva, penis, and buttocks). This helps children understand their bodies and reduces shame.
• Show that words like “no” and “stop” are important and should be respected.
• Respect a child’s boundaries. If your toddler doesn’t want to hug someone, don’t force it. Offer alternatives like a wave or a high five.
• Teach phrases like “I’m the boss of my body!” and “You can say no to touch.”
• Encourage them to ask permission before touching others, even in play, with phrases like “Can I give you a hug?” or “Want to hold hands?”.

By showing and respecting boundaries at this age, you help your child learn they are in charge of their body—and that others are too.

Teaching Consent to Young Children

Ages 5–9: Expanding Conversations and Empowerment

As kids become more social, they come across more situations where consent is important.

• Discuss the concept of personal space and how everyone deserves to feel comfortable.
• Use everyday situations (like sharing toys or tickling games) to teach about asking first and stopping if someone says no.
• Help them name trusted adults they can always talk to and encourage open communication if they ever feel uncomfortable, scared, or confused.
• Teach body safety rules: no one should ask to see or touch their private parts unless it’s a caregiver or doctor, and the child understands why.
  

Teaching Consent to Preteens

 Ages 10–13: Navigating Peer Pressure and Digital Boundaries

This age group begins to develop more complex friendships and encounters more media.

• Talk about emotional boundaries—what feels safe to share and with whom.
• Start conversations about media literacy, helping them to understand media messaging and think critically about it. These talks should include practical information about pornography and the importance of not sharing or requesting private photos.
• Discuss peer pressure, and empower them to stand up for themselves and others.
• Make a habit of checking in with friends: “Do you want to keep playing this game?” or “Is it okay if I post this picture?” 

Teaching Consent to Teens 

Ages 14+: Consent in Romantic and Sexual Contexts

Teenagers need clear, ongoing discussions about sexual consent, mutual respect, and healthy relationships.

• Emphasize that consent must be mutual, enthusiastic, and ongoing—not something given once and assumed.
• Encourage your teen to think about how alcohol, drugs, gender, and peer dynamics impact someone’s ability to give or receive consent.
• Discuss digital consent too—like respecting someone’s online privacy and never forwarding private images or messages.
  

Making It an Ongoing Conversation

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Here are ways to keep consent front and center in your home:

• Model consent in your relationships. Ask before giving hugs, stop tickling when your child says “stop,” and apologize if you cross a boundary.
• Praise assertiveness. If your child says “no” or expresses a preference, praise their confidence.
• Stay calm and open when your child asks questions or shares feelings, even if the topic feels uncomfortable. Your child should trust that they will ot get in trouble when they come to you with a concern or for advice. 

Remember, it’s not about having a perfect script—it’s about being present, responsive, and willing to listen.

Clove Alliance Is Here to Help

Every child deserves to grow up safe, empowered, and informed. That’s why Clove Alliance offers free prevention education programs across Kankakee, Iroquois, and Ford counties for students and adults alike. Our age-appropriate school programs teach kids about body safety, boundaries, and respectful relationships. We also provide training for parents, educators, and community members.

To learn more about programs and learning opportunities, get in touch with our Prevention Team. Click here to fill out a short form, and we’ll get back to you. You can also reach us at 815.932.7273 or email outreach@clovealliance.org.

And for those who have experienced sexual violence, Clove Alliance offers free, confidential services. Survivors of all ages—and their families—can access trauma-informed care and support, including counseling, advocacy, legal services, and a 24-hour Crisis Hotline at 815.932.3322. 

You’re Not Alone

Raising kids in today’s world can feel overwhelming. But by talking openly about consent, you’re giving your child the tools they need to build healthy boundaries and respect others.

If you’d like to learn more about Clove Alliance’s prevention programs or access support services, visit www.clovealliance.org or call our 24/7 hotline at 815.932.3322.

Together, we can create a safer, more respectful world—one talk at a time.