Life is full of special occasions. From work milestones to family gatherings and parties with friends, there is always a reason to celebrate. Alcohol and other drugs like cannabis are often a part of the mix. They’re meant to add the festivities, but they can also raise the risk of harm, including sexual harassment and assault. That’s because intoxication can impair people, and perpetrators use that to their advantage to abuse their targets. 

Taking a moment to refresh on the role alcohol and drugs can play in sexual harm, the importance of consent, and simple ways bystanders can step in when a situation doesn’t feel right makes celebrations safer for everyone.

Intoxication and Increased Risk 

Research and national data show that alcohol plays a big role in many sexual assaults. For example, nearly 100,000 students ages 18 to 24 report experiencing alcohol-related sexual assault each year. Drinking can hinder a person’s defenses, ability to give informed consent, and memory, making it harder to report assault or find support. It also diminishes bystanders’ ability to spot risky situations and step in. Simultaneously, alcohol serves as a pretext for a perpetrator’s harmful behavior. Cannabis is often seen as less risky, but it’s important to acknowledge that it can also impact coordination, awareness, memory, and judgment.

So, we know intoxication increases risk—but it never reverses responsibility for sexual assault. Blame lies solely with the perpetrator who decides to cause harm.

By recognizing how intoxication can influence a situation, we can help keep each other safer. That starts with understanding consent.

What “Consent” Means

Consent

 Consent, in the context of this post,  is a mutual agreement to take part in sexual activity. The acronym “FRIES” can make the elements easy to remember. It is:

• Freely given – no pressure, manipulation, intoxication, or threats.
• Reversible – anyone can change their mind at any time.
  Informed – everyone knows what they are agreeing to and is of age to agree.
• Enthusiastic – all parties are excited about the agreement.. 
• Specific – “yes” to each activity, because yes to one thing doesn’t mean automatic agreement to other activities

Consent is not silence, a lack of resistance, or implied. If someone is heavily intoxicated, unconscious, asleep, or otherwise unable to make decisions, they cannot consent.

How To Practice Consent

Making sure that partners are on board for sexual activity isn’t complicated. You can practice consent by:

• Asking, “Is this okay?” or “What would feel good to you?” before moving forward.
• Clue into and listen to what your partner is communicating, verbally and through their body language. 
• Always respect a “no”—even if it’s said meekly, indirectly, or through body language alone. 
• Keep checking in; make sure you’re on the same page before progressing
• Recognize when someone is not in a state to freely give consent. Not sure how intoxicated they are? Simply wait till another time when you are both of clear minds.

Substance Safety Tips

Being mindful of how substances can influence consent and create impairment opens the door for reducing risk. These tips can help you look out for yourself and your community. They do not prevent sexual violence, and they are never a reason to blame survivors. Think of them as tools for awareness and care.

Stay With People You Trust
Go to gatherings or parties with people you feel safe around, and plan to leave together. Check in with one another throughout the night, and step in if someone seems uncomfortable, isolated, or too intoxicated to make decisions safely (see below!).

Keep an Eye on Drinks
Don’t leave drinks unattended, and avoid accepting drinks from strangers. Skip shared containers like punch bowls, where you don’t know what’s inside. Bad actors can use these as a chance to drug victims.

Use Cannabis Mindfully
Only use cannabis that you obtained yourself or from someone you trust. Be mindful of your tolerance and know that smoking, vaping, and edibles can all affect you differently. Also, combining cannabis with alcohol can intensify impairment.

Trust Your Gut
If something doesn’t feel right, step away. Find a friend, staff member, or leave the space entirely. If you ever feel unsafe or threatened, reach out for help right away.

What’s Your Body Telling You?
If you suddenly feel more intoxicated than expected, you may have been drugged. Tell someone you trust, get to a safe place, and seek medical care. Let providers know you suspect drugging so they can run the appropriate tests.

Be an Active Bystander

Stepping in or speaking out when you see harmful behavior is known as being an active bystander. You don’t have to be a hero to keep others safe, but you do have to be willing to act. Thankfully, there are tactics built to keep you and others from harm while disrupting bad situations. The “5Ds” are widely recommended and easy to remember:

1. Distract — Create a diversion or interrupt. Engage directly with the person who’s being harassed. You can ask for a phone charger, act excited to have “randomly” run into them, or invite them to help you queue up the next few songs. Any excuse will do!
2. Delegate — Bring in help; you don’t have to act alone. Ask a friend, host, staff, or security to help you or to check in with the target directly.
3. Document — If it’s safe and appropriate, and someone else is already intervening, record what’s happening or note details afterward (time, people, what you saw). Always ask the target if they want the recording or notes, and secure it in a safe place. Never share anything without their permission.
4. Delay — If it’s not safe to use another of the “5Ds” in the moment, you can still check in with the person affected afterward: “Are you okay? Do you want me to stay with you? Is there any way I can support you?”
5. Direct — Assess the situation carefully and only use direct intervention when it is safe to do so. Consider that intoxication can make a perpetrator more likely to engage in violence. Be succinct and speak up. You can say something like, “That’s not okay! Please stop.”

These options let you choose the level of directness that’s safe for you while still supporting the person at risk. You can find more details on each of the “5Ds” through Right to Be. Studies find that learning about bystander tactics increases people’s willingness and confidence to intervene. When enough people act, norms begin to shift toward safer communities. 

How to Support Someone Who’s Been Harmed

If someone tells you they’ve been assaulted, your response matters. Listen, believe them, and offer choices rather than pressure. Avoid asking “why” questions that can feel blaming. Ask what they need now (quiet, some water, a ride, someone to stay with them), and offer to connect them with confidential services. If they want medical care or to make a report, offer to help them find options. If they don’t, respect that choice. Practical, non-judgemental support reduces isolation and helps survivors take the next step when they’re ready.

If the survivor is hesitant to get help because they were voluntarily intoxicated or using illegal drugs at the time of the assault, reassure them that no matter the circumstances, being assaulted was not their fault. Encourage them to talk to an advocate at a rape crisis center who can explain that Illinois law provides immunity for drug use in these situations because sexual assault is a far more serious issue.  

Clove Alliance is Here For You: Free, Confidential Support

If you or someone you know needs support after an experience of sexual violence, Clove Alliance can help. We provide free, confidential services to people of all ages in Kankakee, Iroquois, and Ford counties in Illinois.

Our services include:

• 24/7 crisis hotline at 815.932.3322
• Counseling (in-person, virtual, or phone) for survivors and loved ones 
• Advocacy for survivors navigating reporting to law enforcement, seeking protective orders, or looking for medical care
• Prevention programs and training that empower our community to end sexual violence

Reaching out to counseling@clovealliance.org or calling 815.932.7273 is a great first step. Every conversation is confidential, judgment-free, and centered on your needs.

If you are outside the Clove Alliance service area, we will refer you to an organization near you. You can also use this directory to find local services.